When Your Toddler Wrestles Like WWE but Also Cries at a Bear Hug: Understanding Sensory Seeking and Sensory Avoidance

Life with a toddler is unpredictable, but add sensory needs, both seeking and avoidance, and suddenly your house feels like a mix between a wrestling ring, a therapy clinic, and a zoo with an exceptionally patient dog.

Take my son, for example. Some days, he launches at me WWE-style, practicing full-body slams and headlocks in a desperate attempt to get the deep pressure input his body craves. Other days, he melts into my arms and demands the tightest bear hug known to humankind. Then there are the spinning moments, our living room becomes his own private Tilt-A-Whirl, or the days when a sensory bin of rice keeps him focused, calm, and happy for a glorious half hour.

But here’s the kicker: the very same bear hug that grounded him yesterday? Cue a full meltdown today. Sensory seeking and avoidance don’t always make sense on the surface, which is why it’s such a puzzle (and sometimes comedy routine) to parent through it.

Sensory Seeking vs. Sensory Avoidant (AKA “Make Up Your Mind, Kid!”)

• Sensory Seeking: Kids crave extra input, movement, pressure, textures, or sound. They might wrestle, spin, jump, crash into furniture, chew on everything in sight, or squeeze Play-Doh until it’s practically dust.

• Sensory Avoidant: Children are overwhelmed by excessive sensory input, loud noises, tight hugs, scratchy clothes, bright lights, or even a parent’s well-intended pat on the back.

The tricky part is that many kids are both. They’re not one or the other; they’re both, depending on the moment, their energy levels, or the environment. My son can switch from cuddly bear to “don’t you dare touch me” faster than I can say, “Wait, what just happened?”

Our Dog: The Unsung Sensory Therapist

And then there’s our dog. Honestly, he deserves his own therapy license at this point. My son uses him for sensory input constantly, wild games of tug-of-war, pushing against him with his head like a bulldozer, and even lying across him when he’s seeking heavy pressure.

And how does the dog respond? With patience, I can only dream of. He sighs, lies down, and gives me the look of a co-worker who knows this wasn’t in his original job description but has fully accepted it anyway. And he doesn’t just tolerate, he anticipates. When my son’s emotions spiral, our dog will intentionally lie across his lap, offering calming deep pressure. Ironically, this sometimes sends my son further into meltdown (because he isn’t ready to receive it), but the dog is more in tune with his regulation needs than my son is. Sometimes more than me, too.

How Sensory Activities Actually Help

Here’s where the science and strategy come in. Sensory activities aren’t just “fun extras”, they change the brain and body in ways that support regulation throughout the day.

• Spinning and Vestibular Input: Activities like a sit-and-spin, swing, or even rolling down a hill stimulate the vestibular system (the inner ear balance center). My son’s OT taught me something that blew my mind: when kids spin and also reach across their body to pull (like pulling the handle to spin faster), it engages bilateral brain stimulation. The impact isn’t short-lived either; it can last for up to 6 hours. I had thought 2–3, but no, not quite. Six. That’s basically magic.

• Deep Pressure and Proprioceptive Input: Wrestling with pillows, weighted blankets, tight bear hugs, or even pushing heavy laundry baskets gives proprioceptive input (the body’s sense of position and movement). These activities help kids feel grounded and calm.

• Tactile Play: Sensory bins, playdough, water beads, or even finger painting let kids explore textures in a safe way. For sensory avoidant kids, gentle exposure helps desensitize; for seekers, it satisfies that craving for touch.

• Heavy Work (aka Sensory Gold): Activities like carrying groceries, vacuuming, or climbing playground equipment combine movement and resistance, releasing calming chemicals in the brain. Many OTs will say that if you can only pick one type of sensory input, heavy work is the MVP.

• Calming Inputs: For avoidant moments, things like noise-canceling headphones, quiet tents, soft blankets, or rocking chairs can create a safe “reset” space.

Creating a “Sensory Diet”

Just like kids need food throughout the day, they also benefit from sensory input at regular intervals. That’s where the idea of a sensory diet comes in, a mix of big “meals” and smaller “snacks” of sensory activity.

• Sensory Meals (Morning Jump-Starts):

• Big intentional activities like swinging, spinning, or trampoline jumping that “set the tone” for regulation. These give long-lasting benefits.

• Sensory Snacks (Throughout the Day):

• Smaller bursts of input, chewing crunchy foods, fidget toys, and carrying a weighted backpack for a few minutes help kids maintain balance between larger activities.

The goal is to proactively support regulation, rather than waiting for meltdowns and scrambling to backtrack.

Teamwork: OT + Counseling

Here’s something I’ve learned as both a counselor and a mom: even with my background, I still need (and love) the support of our OT and speech therapists. Yes, there’s overlap between counseling and OT, especially with younger kids. But OTs are specialists in sensory integration. They bring strategies and reminders that even I benefit from. Honestly, it’s humbling and freeing to realize that no matter how much we know as parents or professionals, we all need a team.

The Big Takeaway

Parenting a sensory seeker/avoider isn’t about “fixing” them, it’s about offering the right inputs at the right times and giving grace (to them and ourselves) when it doesn’t go perfectly. Some days you’re the crash mat, other days you’re the safe hug, and sometimes the dog steals the show as the best co-regulator in the house.

At the end of the day, it’s about patience, observation, and creativity. And maybe keeping an extra bag of rice for sensory bins…because your toddler might dump the last one all over the floor in the name of “therapy.”

Counselor Note: If your child’s sensory needs feel overwhelming, connecting with an OT can be a game-changer. They’ll help tailor a sensory diet to your child’s needs and give you tools that make daily life less like WWE and more like teamwork.

This post is just the start. In the weeks ahead, I’ll be sharing glimpses into our daily sensory routines, what mornings look like in our house when we start the day with intentional sensory “meals,” how we sprinkle in quick sensory “snacks” throughout the afternoon, and why these little rhythms make such a big difference for my son (and honestly, for all of us).

I’ll also give you sneak peeks into our sensory bins and morning activity bins, what we fill them with, how we rotate them, and the surprising ways they’ve helped with focus, regulation, and even smoother transitions.

Because at the end of the day, these routines aren’t just about meeting sensory needs, they’re about helping our kids feel safe, capable, and ready to tackle the day…whether that means quietly scooping beans in a sensory bin or attempting a WWE takedown on Mom.

Stay tuned, it’s going to be messy, funny, and (hopefully) really helpful.