I Don't Want to Wash My Hair, Mama: A "Sunday Spotlight" Children's Book Review

It’s time for “Sunday Spotlight”, where I highlight a children’s book that I genuinely love, sharing my perspective as both a mom and a counselor. You’ll find an honest review, along with simple and meaningful ways to weave social-emotional learning (SEL) into story time, whether you’re reading at home, in a counseling office, or in a classroom.

At the end of each post, I include a link to purchase the book if you’re interested. These are affiliate links, but there is never any pressure to purchase. Clicking and buying through them does not add any extra cost to you or affect the author; it’s simply one optional way to support this blog.

This Week’s Second Book: I Don’t Want to Wash My Hair, Mama, written by Nikita Aird and illustrated by Shahna Gull

Some stories matter not just because they’re sweet, but because they help children see themselves clearly and lovingly.

When I first saw the author share this story in a children’s book author group, I immediately knew it was one I wanted to highlight.

Over my years working as a counselor, I supported many young Black children, some adopted into white families, others attending schools where they were one of only a few, or sometimes the only, Black child in their environment. Much of our work centered on self-esteem, identity, and belonging: learning to love their skin tone, hair texture, culture, and whole selves, even when they didn’t see themselves widely reflected in their surroundings.

One conversation that has stayed with me was with a dear friend who moved to the U.S. from South Sudan as a child. I asked how I could best support children as they navigate these feelings in ways that are respectful and affirming. Her encouragement was simple and powerful: help children see themselves represented, in books, movies, and stories, and continue celebrating their beauty and uniqueness.

This book is a beautiful example of that encouragement brought to life.

About This Story

In I Don’t Want to Wash My Hair, Mama, we meet Xoey, a young girl who does not enjoy hair-washing day. The water gets in her eyes and ears, tickles her nose, and sometimes her hair even hurts. These are experiences many children can relate to, and the story validates those feelings right from the start.

Rather than forcing the moment, Xoey’s mama gently helps her see how a little imagination and care can turn wash day into something playful rather than scary. As the story unfolds, Xoey’s hair comes to life, inviting her to dance, splash, slide, and play her way through the experience.

The book ends with thoughtful reflection questions from the author, offering caregivers and educators an opportunity to extend the learning and ensure that children truly understand the story’s message.

A Note on the Illustrations

The illustrations are incredibly sweet and add warmth and movement to the story. When Xoey’s hair comes to life, the visuals beautifully mirror the joy and imagination described in the text. The expressions, colors, and playful scenes help children feel immersed in Xoey’s experience while reinforcing the story’s emotional shifts.

From a Counselor’s Chair: Social-Emotional Learning Connections

From a social-emotional learning perspective, this book supports self-awareness, emotional expression, body autonomy, and positive identity development. It validates discomfort while showing children that feelings can change when met with patience, creativity, and care.

Ways to Expand Social-Emotional Learning with I Don't Want to Wash My Hair, Mama.

Here are several simple, effective ways to extend learning and support social-emotional development using this book:

1. Feelings Validation Talk

   Ask children how Xoey felt at the beginning of the story and why. Normalize that it’s okay to dislike certain experiences.

2. Choice & Control Discussion

   Talk about how Xoey’s mama helped her feel safe and involved. Ask children what helps them feel brave during hard moments.

3. Imagination as a Coping Tool

   Discuss how imagination helped change Xoey’s experience. Invite children to share ways they use creativity to cope.

4. Self-Love Reflection

   Encourage children to name something they love about themselves, hair, skin, smile, or personality.

5. Connection Activity

   Pair the book with a drawing or storytelling activity where children create their own “magic moment” during a challenging task.

If you need more ideas, reach out to me!

Final Thoughts

I Don’t Want to Wash My Hair, Mama is a gentle, affirming story that holds space for discomfort while celebrating identity, culture, and self-love. As a counselor, I deeply appreciate how it helps children feel seen and valued. As a reader, I love how it transforms an everyday struggle into something joyful and empowering.

This is a wonderful addition to any home, classroom, or counseling library, and a meaningful way to help children feel represented, respected, and proud of who they are.

Want to See a Book Featured?

For “Sunday Spotlight”, my goal is to review 1–3 children’s books each week. If you have a book you’d love to see featured, are a children’s book author yourself, or know an author who might enjoy having their story reviewed, I’d love to hear from you.

Feel free to reach out anytime at guidedbygiggles@gmail.com 💛

Let’s keep celebrating stories that help kids grow, one giggle (and page) at a time.

Click the picture to grab your copy of Sometimes I Get Stuck.